Archive for April, 2015

April 26, 2015

3 Things I’ve Learned in (Almost) 7 Weeks of Marriage

It’s freaking awesome, by the way. Being married, I mean. At least, to this husband it is. He is so amazing, y’all. But there’s a definite learning curve. Here are some of the things I’ve learned.

1. Sometimes, you think you’re picky and you’re actually laid back. The reverse is also true. 

As it happens, my “I’ll eat anything” love is quite picky. A few weeks ago, I made a delicious raspberry-balsamic glazed pork tenderloin. Turns out, he doesn’t like fruit with meat. Or balsamic vinegar. Or pork tenderloin. Oh, he was a good sport and gamely tried – and affirmed the deliciousness of – everything, but it was not his thing. Too bad; it was probably the best thing I’ve made since we’ve been married.

The Lesson: Some of the things we thought about ourselves are wrong. Who knew? Not us, not till now. (Pretty sure this trend will continue till we die.)

2. Not everybody eats with butter knives. 

When I was a kid, we never used steak knives. How often did we eat steak? I would guess at least 2-3 times a month. But we sawed away with our (mildly serrated) butter knives and were just fine, thank you very much. (I imagine this was largely so my siblings and I – probably especially I – wouldn’t hurt myself. When I came to be of an age when one might trust his daughter to mow the lawn, I was not permitted to, because I might run myself over with the lawn mower. I confess, these concerns are not entirely ridiculous. I may be a bit clumsy.)

Fast forward 20 years, and I am married a man who literally cannot understand how a person like me thinks since I didn’t register us for everyday steak knives. In his family, if there was meat on the table, there were two knives on the table.

This is, for me, a new level of “not everyone grew up like you, Lauren.” I had a good dose of that in college, when I learned that none of my friends grew up eating Hamburger Helper, and that one was raised leaving butter out on the counter, and that in some families you wear only skirts to visit more conservative relations. But being married has meant that silly little expectations we didn’t realize we had are being blown apart in new ways. Not only do we have to realize the differences; we have to come up with our own way to be. In this case, we got steak knives. (It turns out, belated wedding gifts are a blessing.) Tonight we used them. It was good. Steak knives FTW.

3. Someone is here to point out what’s on my neck.

As I was sitting here, writing this post while he works on his own laptop, I asked him something. He looked at me and was like, “Babe, what is on your neck?” I reached up, nervous about coming in contact with some behemoth of an insect, and finding only something a little grimy. “I think it’s chocolate,” he said. “It looked like a bug at first, but I think it’s chocolate. You’d better go look in the mirror.”

It turned out to be chocolate. LOTS of chocolate. Like, holy cow, are you bleeding chocolate? I had no idea those caramel-centered drumstick ice cream cones could bleed chocolate like that. If I had gone out to walk the dog, I bet you $100 someone would have thought it was dog poop, which is GROSS and beside the point. Bottom line: there is someone here who notices stuff and lets me know about it. He is all up in my business. That is a good thing.

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April 6, 2015

Sometimes, a Blogging Hiatus Means Good Things…

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